I don’t know why anyone else rainbowed their Facebook
profile photo, though plenty of folks have their theories, but I know why I
rainbowed mine. Whenever there are instances like this – large or small – there
is a funny moment as a user of social media when I must decide if I participate
in what I know will ultimately be attacked as meaningless at best, or socially
reprehensible at worst.
The slacktivist critique asserts that participating in these
sorts of social media campaigns costs the participants nothing yet gives them
the feeling that they have done something real in service of whatever the
campaign is about. I had no illusion when I posted Daffy Duck as my profile picture a few
years ago, ostensibly to raise awareness of child abuse, that I was actually
participating in any sort of activism. Participating indeed cost me nothing
more than a few minutes to find and post a picture, but it also gave me no
false rush of activist glee.
This is not a small deal for me. I wrote a blog post a few years
ago outlining my journey to this point of view. Like many people who identify
as Christian, I found this issue confusing and upsetting. I believe many people
are struggling because of what they believe and have been told their religion
teaches about the subject while earnestly desiring to be open and loving to
their LGBT friends and family.
This is also not a small deal to some of the people who know
me and love me, many of whom are my Facebook friends. I would imagine that a
few of my family and friends were appalled when they saw my face smiling
through a rainbow. They are part of the reason I did it. Being willing to put
myself out there, even in this microscopic way, as a supporter of my friends
and family who are LGBT, took a modicum of courage that I will not overstate,
but I own. I can’t help thinking maybe my public declaration of my opinion in
this way might have caused more than one person I know and love to wonder about
their own position on the question, especially if they are as horrified by the
Supreme Court ruling as many people are.
Another reason I did it is for my friends and family who are
gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. I wanted them to know that I am willing
to identify as one who cares about their struggle. It is easy simply to say that you are a supporter of equal
rights when asked; it is another to demonstrate this support openly, and
possibly to open yourself to censure from your friends and family who disagree.
Again, I acknowledge that mine was a small gesture with comparatively small
risk, but I believe it is important.
I would wager that there are probably many people who thought about rainbow-ing their profile
photos but didn’t because they were afraid. They were not willing to risk
identifying themselves publicly as a supporter in a political environment that
is so acrimonious. I can’t say I blame them, and I certainly don’t fault them.
I was, however, pretty surprised how many people “liked” my rainbowed profile
photo, and I couldn’t help noticing how many of them had not, in fact,
rainbowed their own profile photos.
It is terribly easy not
to participate at moments like this. By rainbowing my profile photo, I opened
myself up to being called silly at best, or, as one commentator asserts, a cultural appropriator
who should probably be ashamed of herself. I was also undoubtedly called unflattering things by family and friends who disagree with the Supreme
Court ruling. My point is that it would have been way easier for me to lie low
on Facebook for a week until the news cycle moved on.
I considered this approach as I was grappling with my fear
of rainbowing my profile photo. I don’t want to overstate this fear, as it is
barely perceptible compared to that experienced by LGBT people on a regular
basis, but it is real, and it was present for me. I can’t imagine how difficult
and frightening it must be for them to declare who they are when they finally
do, given the significant pause I experienced before identifying myself as a
mere supporter.
Changing my profile photo cost me nearly nothing compared to the insult and degradation that my LGBT friends and family have endured, but it did cost me something. It cost me the comfortable neutrality that saying and doing nothing provides. It was about me for sure, but it was not, in fact, slacktivism. I believe my rainbow profile picture did cost me something, and it did actually do something to promote marriage equality among my family and friends – both for those who oppose it and for those who support it. So my rainbow profile picture will stay rainbow for a while, even if I am among those scolded and ridiculed for it.
Changing my profile photo cost me nearly nothing compared to the insult and degradation that my LGBT friends and family have endured, but it did cost me something. It cost me the comfortable neutrality that saying and doing nothing provides. It was about me for sure, but it was not, in fact, slacktivism. I believe my rainbow profile picture did cost me something, and it did actually do something to promote marriage equality among my family and friends – both for those who oppose it and for those who support it. So my rainbow profile picture will stay rainbow for a while, even if I am among those scolded and ridiculed for it.